


Lord of the Sextuplets

by Lakeswirl



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding, おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime)
Genre: Choro wears his glasses all the time which is very important, Dark Comedy, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9240875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakeswirl/pseuds/Lakeswirl
Summary: What are the odds that a plane would crash and the only survivors would be the Matsuno sextuplets? If these NEETs can't get jobs, homes, basically lives of their own in Japan, how do you expect them to not totally lose their shit when left to their own devices on an uninhabited island?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Between this and that Kara fic where he talks about Romeo and Juliet, I guess I just have something with this anime and books my English class forced me to read

Osomatsu picked his way through smashed airplane parts and wild plants scattered among the sand. He heard footsteps behind him, and then the familiar voice of his brother Choromatsu. "Osomatsu? Hey, c-could you slow down a minute and wait for me? All these damn vines on the ground keep tripping me-" As if on cue, Choromatsu stumbled over and just barely caught his fall with his hands. "See?" he grunted, adjusting his glasses. Osomatsu sighed. "Hey, Choromatsu," he said as he turned around and somewhat reluctantly held out a hand to help his brother up, which Choromatsu accepted. "Do you know where the others are?" Choromatsu asked as he regained his balance. "Are there others?" Osomatsu shrugged. "We'll find 'em eventually, right?" He grinned and rubbed one finger under his nose. "Osomatsu, we need to figure out if anyone else is here!" Choromatsu exclaimed. He looked over Osomatsu's shoulders, to where the water met the sand. "Hey, I think I see a conch shell," Choromatsu prompted, pointing in its direction. "I could blow it, and th-" "On it," Osomatsu interrupted him as he jogged over to the shell. Choromatsu sighed in frustration as he followed him. Osomatsu picked it up and examined it. "So I just gotta blow into this, and it would call over any other people on this... island? This is an island, right?" Choromatsu shrugged. Osomatsu giggled a bit and blew into the conch. It was fucking LOUD. It took a few minutes, but soon Osomatsu recognized four more figures in his peripheral vision. Karamatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu, and Todomatsu. "Hey, guys!" Osomatsu hollered. "I have arrived." Karamatsu apparently felt the need to declare the obvious, in English, as he pushed some bushes out of his way. Ichimatsu trudged behind him, not saying anything. Jyushimatsu bounded his way in. "Ahh!! I found you!!" he screamed with his usual wide smile on his face. Todomatsu shyly wandered into the clearing. "Alright," Osomatsu concluded. "That's all six of us. Were there any others?" Shrugs and mumbles of "no" between the brothers were the clearest answers Osomatsu got. "We're stuck here," Choromatsu said. "We need order and rules. I know there's only six of us, but this could go really wrong really fast if we're not mindful of-" "Alright, who wants me in charge?" Osomatsu pointed at himself with one thumb while his other arm cradled the shell. "...and who wants me in charge?" Five surprised heads turned towards Karamatsu, who glittered with painfulness as he rested his hands on his hips. His eyes were shut with confidence, but he cracked one open when he realized he wasn't getting an uproar of support. His eyes opened fully and the grin fell. "We should vote.. Who wants me in charge?" Karamatsu asked. Ichimatsu, who gave zero shits on what happened and was honestly ready to die at this point, drifted his hand up. Nobody else did. "How about me?" Osomatsu asked. "Well, Osomatsu-niisan, you are the oldest!" Jyushimatsu reasoned as he enthusiastically stuck a hand in the air. "Well, you do have the conch," Todomatsu murmured as his hand rose as well. "I don't think either of you would make great leaders of anything, but I guess I have no choice," Choromatsu said as he put a hand in the air. "'Right then, three to one. Looks like I'm in charge, woohoo!” “But I want to be in charge of something, at least,” Karamatsu whined. “Okay! You and Ichimatsu can… uh… What sort of ‘something’ are you looking for?” Osomatsu said. Oh no. Karamatsu was standing in a dramatic pose, and his eyes were all-out bishonen at the moment. He brought one hand to his forehead in an extremely corny fashion. “Something… heroic. Something nobody else is willing to do, so it would be an amazingly selfless sacrifice for me to step up and do it.” “How about hunting?” Choromatsu offered. “Most of us aren't too enthusiastic about killing animals. I hope not, at least.” Beat. “Yes, Todomatsu, I’m looking at you.” The pink-clad man in question simply giggled and looked away. “Hunting,” Karamatsu contemplated. “I will do it!” he announced after a moment of thought. Osomatsu rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “First things first, we better do a lap around the shore to see if this really is an island,” he said. “I'll take Karamatsu and… Todomatsu with me.” Osomatsu glanced around and then picked a random direction to go in, Karamatsu and Todomatsu following him. They either didn't see or pretended not to see the frustrated look on Choromatsu’s face as he was left behind with the emo one and the hyperactive one. Osomatsu lead his way around the island with a bounce in his step. The thought of new unexplored land thrilled him. The two in his party were excited as well. There was chatter and giggling between the three of them as they hiked through the jungle. Though they’d known each other for twenty years, something about being stranded on an island with each other made the bond between them more apparent. The jungle ended and gave way to tall mountains that were somewhat of a challenge to climb. But boy, was it worth it, the man in the red hoodie thought to himself as he stood at its top. Osomatsu looked down at the land around them, a gust of wind tousling his hair. A sort of fire lit up his eyes from the sheer exhilaration of it. “No signs of civilization,” Todomatsu observed. “I guess we're on our own.” “If nobody else lives here, then I say this land is ours now,” Osomatsu breathed. “So we've determined this is an island. Now where to?” Karamatsu asked. Osomatsu shrugged as he turned around. “Back the way we came, I guess?” That was as good an idea as any. Osomatsu began making his way down the mountain, and his brothers followed suit. As they were walking through the jungle, Todomatsu pointed at something. “Is that a pig?” Sure enough, there was a pig caught in some vines, unable to escape. Osomatsu looked at Karamatsu expectantly. “Well, mister hunter? You gonna get us some meat or not?” Karamatsu walked towards the trapped pig and drew a pocket knife that he’d apparently had on his person the entire time (How’d he get that on a plane?). He held the blade to the pig’s skin, his hand shaking a bit and the conflict shining in his eyes. Karamatsu bit his lip, and braced himself to press the blade in and spill the pig’s blood. But before he could do so, the pig had wriggled its way out of the vines and dashed off. Karamatsu folded the pocket knife and walked back to his brothers. “Dude, if you hadn't hesitated we could have gotten some food,” Osomatsu commented. “What, you couldn't bring yourself to hurt it?” Karamatsu looked away. “I was confused, is all. Though the thought of taking a life does make me a bit uneasy, I assure you that is not the main reason I failed to slay that pig. Next time I see one, I will succeed in the hunt. I can feel it.” Osomatsu shrugged. “Sure, but if we starve it’s your fault,” he said. After some more walking, they reunited with the other three brothers. “Well?” Choromatsu asked, hoping for news of civilization located somewhere. “I learned two things today.” Osomatsu held up two fingers. “One: Yep, this is an uninhabited island. Two: Karamatsu’s a huge pussy who can't kill pigs.” “He's lying,” Karamatsu said quickly. “About the pig part.”


End file.
